


You Always Hurt The Ones You Love

by writingintheimpala



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marvel Universe, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 13:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18757021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingintheimpala/pseuds/writingintheimpala
Summary: You fall for your smoking hot literature professor Bucky Barnes (quite literally) what follows you never predicted would happen.Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill) and mentions of PTSD because it’s Bucky.





	1. Chapter 1

“He cut his hair. He looks more handsome than he used to but I do miss his man-bun, he started wearing sweaters a lot more now that it’s getting colder and sometimes he wears those nerdy glasses making them look extremely hot especially when he also wears a shirt with his sleeves rolled up.” You said in a drunken state to your best friend Wanda over the phone.

“Wait who are you talking about?” Wanda questioned.

“Professor Barnes.” You simply stayed slightly slurring your words.

“You’re Literature professor?” Wanda investigated further.

“He’s so darn cute but like don’t tell anyone I’d be in hell if anyone knew especially Nat don’t tell Nat.” You continued.

“Don’t tell Nat what?”  Natasha asked walking into your shared apartment, Wanda also used to live with you until she got a job and moved in with Vision so now you end up having to catch up over the phone more often than any of you liked.

“Uh…” you didn’t know what to reply.

“How much Y/N drank, Nat please put her to bed she has lessons tomorrow.” Wanda said knowing that she’s on speaker.

“Sure thing, come on, you’re going to bed say goodnight to Wanda.” Natasha said taking you to your room even though you protested.

The morning was hell you didn’t set an alarm so woke up really late throwing on the most lazy outfit and grabbing a coffee Natasha generously made for you before speeding off to campus. You didn’t make it before your first class- History- started so you had to awkwardly walk in half way through the lecture having nearly everyone stare at you walk in. After class professor Rogers asked you to stay behind so you can explain why you’re late. “Professor, I’d like to officially apologise for being here so late, I forgot to set an alarm last night after going to sleep in the early hours of the morning and overslept.” You said walking up to his desk.

“It’s okay Miss L/N, I’m just concerned because unlike most students you usually show up to class on time and don’t party during the week and I wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Professor Rogers explained.

“No I didn’t party I was trying to finish a creative writing essay for Barnes I’ve just had so much work to do not only for Barnes but you too it’s just been a lot. I honestly don’t understand how people finish all the work and also party.” You explained earning yourself a chuckle from Rogers at the last part.

“I’ll let you in on a secret they don’t, they party and forget their work never completing it, but I mean it’s good to party sometimes it seems like you need it, to de-stress.” He said with a caring smile him and Barnes were your two favourite professors, they were just likeable and it helped that they were so easy to talk to and cared about their students.

“Yeah maybe I will thank you, anyway I need to go because I’m already late for Barnes.” You said realising how long you spent talking to professor Rogers.

“Just blame it on me.” Rogers said as you left. You were of course late for Barnes and while you were leaving he asked you to talk to him and you weren’t surprised in the slightest he hated people being late. “You want to explain why you were nearly twenty minutes late?” Barnes said in a very unimpressed voice to you while people were walking out of the lecture hall.

“Professor Rogers wanted to talk to me.” You simply stated and Barnes’ whole demeanour changed instantly, this wasn’t the first time Rogers made you late for Barnes’ lesson.

“What did he want to talk about this time?” Barnes asked while starting to pack up his things.

“Apparently I need to party more.” You simply stateu and Barnes laughed. You loved when he laughed it was so wholesome.

“Of course he did, I’ll never understand him…okay you can leave I’d say don’t be late again but we both know Steve and we both know he just never stops talking.” Barnes said in turn making you laugh. “Anyway you probably have somewhere to be and I have a meeting to attend so you can go.” He continued.

“A'right see ya professor.” You said casually.

“Bye.” He replied as you left the room. You enjoyed talking to him, he was a different person when you talked to him vs when he taught, he was very serious when he taught sometimes adding jokes to ease the tension in the room but when you talked to him alone he was laid-back, unless he was angry. And that’s what he was in Friday.

When Friday rolled along you knew it’s going to be a long day as soon as Barnes started the lecture with a pop quiz. The lecture itself was good even though Barnes seemed to just speak through it all in monotone and not really caring if people can make notes with the speed that he was going through the slides. “Okay that’s it. Now I’ve marked your creative writing pieces, those of you who actually bothered to do it, please come to my office during office hours today to collect them because I want to give you all feedback. That’s it you can leave now.” Barnes said waving his hand towards the door and walking out the room. Everyone was confused he was never this bad before, yes he had bad days but this one was terrible. Everyone left chattering amongst themselves, it was lunch so you went to meet Natasha who was just leaving one of her classes. “Hey.” She said in a happy voice. “Hey how you doing?” you replied.

“Good but I need coffee Stark is the worst no offence I know he’s a good guy and all but sometimes I hate him.” She added knowing how much her tec teacher and billionaire genius (who for some reason decided to work at a university in his spare time) helped you and your family. About two years ago he started dating your Aunt May, who adopted you and your brother Peter after your parents passed away. Now Tony was like a stepdad to you and Peter.

“No I understand why you hate him he’s a dick of a teacher but he’s good to Peter and May.” You replied.

“Yeah yeah I know anyway how was your day, you had Barnes right?” Nat questioned.

“UGH.” You groaned making her laugh. “He was in some extreme bad mood so he was a major dick all lesson and now I need to go collect my essay from him but I just know he’s going to whine and be a dick about the paper.” You complained.

“When are you going?” Nat questioned.

“I don’t know technically I should go like now because I don’t have any lessons and I may as well go study at home.” You said reluctantly.

“Good luck, I’ll walk with you I have Wilson next so that’s right next to Barnes’ office.” Natasha offered.

“Oh great so I actually have to go now.” You said rolling your eyes and making Natasha laugh.

When you got to Barnes’ office and knocked on the door you were anxious he told you to come in and you saw him sitting behind the desk with his shirt sleeves rolled up, tie taken off and lying on the table and top few buttons undone he looked both hit and like a mess at the same time. “Hi.” You said walking in and he didn’t even look up he just continued looking at whatever he had on his desk.

“Please have a seat.” He said finally looking up and you did as he said without a word. “Okay your essay. It was interesting. Not a good interesting a what the fuck type of interesting.” He said without a care in the world.

“Mhm.” You forced out trying to remain calm,  
You put so much work into that creative writing essay, you stayed up till 1 am writing for so many nights and then finally when you finished you Frank a whole bottle of wine to celebrate and now apparently it was “what the fuck type of interesting”? What did that even mean.

“What was the assignment?” Barnes asked catching you off guard.

“A creative writing essay?” You said slowly.

“Exactly!” Barnes said in a loud voice making you flinch. “Then why isn’t this shit creative! I thought you were smart? Apparently not though. Do you honestly think you’re gonna pass this course with work like this I expected you to get A* this year in all the assignments but apparently you can’t do that. I suggest you get your head straight or just quit my course because I don’t need idiots like you in my class. That’s it you can leave all the feedback is also on the system of you want to read about how much you fucking failed.” Barnes ranted as you tried to keep from breaking down over the comments he said.

“Okay thank you.” You said quietly standing up and walking out. You went straight to Stark’s office because you knew you could crybim there and no one would notice you but it was locked. You stopped caring. You sat on the floor in front of Stark’s office and began sobbing. “Y/N are you okay?” You heard someone say and you looked up to see professor Rogers. You wiped some tests away and nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” He continued to question you and you shook your head no. “Come on, come to my office so you can calm down instead of being out here in the corridor.” Rogers said opening the door to his office which was opposite Starks.

“Thank you.” You quietly chocked out as you stood up and walked into his office. You sat down on his couch wiping your tears away with your sleeve and Rogers handed you a box of tissues that you quietly thanked him for.

“I was just about to go get a coffee from the café would you like anything?” Rogers asked.

“No thank you.” You said quietly.

“Not even a tea? Or coffee? Or maybe hot chocolate?” He probed you.

“A hot chocolate does sound nice.” You said quietly to yourself.

“Okay I’ll be back in a second.” Rogers said.

“Wow this I’ll give you some change for the hot chocolate.” You said digging into your bag to find your wallet.

“It’s fine Y/N I get things from the café free, perks of being a teacher.” He said with a smile before he left. When he came back he handed you the hot chocolate and pulled up a chair to sit next to you while you sat on his couch using your coat as a blanket.

“So what did Stark do to make you sit and cry infront of his office door?” He asked.

“Wow this feels like therapy me sitting on the couch you on a chair next to me out just need a notebook.” You said making him laugh.

“Wait.” He said putting his coffee in his desk and picking up a notebook from his desk. “Okay and go.” He said and both of you laughed.

“Wait did you draw that?” You asked looking at the notebook in which there was a beautiful portrait.

“Yeah.” He said giving you the notebook so you could flick through it. “It’s kinda my hobby, most of the time in class when it seems I’m marking papers I’m probably drawing.” He said making you smile.

“These are so good, why don’t you tecah art or something?” You asked.

“I thought about it but I know more about history art is just a hobby and a way to procrastinate.” He said simply as you handed him the notebook back.

“Well you have talent.” You said giving him a smile.

“Thanks. Now what happened today that I found you crying on the floor?”

“Barnes.” You said taking a drink of your hot chocolate.

“Barnes? What did Barnes do?”

“Well he was giving me feedback on my creative writing essay the one that made me late for your lesson because I was doing it like everyday and every night in order to perfect it.” You began.

“Yeah I remember so I’m guessing it didn’t go well?” Rogers asked.

“It went terrible, he told me to quit his course-”

“What?”

“And he told me it wasn’t creative, it was shit and I’m a fucking idiot.” You continued trying not to cry again.

“Language.” Was his first reaction.

“Sorry I was just quoting Barnes.”

“Wait what? He said that word for word?” Rogers said concerned.   
  


“More or less, so I felt like a complete failure I went to Stark because i thought I could just hide in his office and cry but it was locked…” You said.

“Y/N I’m so sorry-” Rogers began before you cut him off.

“No I fucked up I deserve it at least he told me straight how much of a mess I am.” You said completely giving up.

“You’re the top student in my class. You’re not a failure, and for a fact I know you’re one of the top students that Barnes has ever had. I have no idea why he said all the stuff he said. I’m gonna talk to him-”

“No don’t, please don’t say anything I’ll figure this out myself.” You said not wanting to start more drama.

“Okay, it’s Friday night. Why don’t you go out to party with your friends because you’ve had a long week and on Monday you can start again re-write the essay ask Barnes for notes on how you can improve it and everything will be okay.”

“Okay Yeah, Thank you, you should be a student councillor.” You said making Rogers laugh.

“Doesn’t pay as much as teaching.” He replied and you laughed before saying a finally thank you and goodbye and heading off home.


	2. Chapter 2

You took profesor Rogers advice and that evening you and Natasha went out to a bar, you even agreed to wearing one of Natasha’s dresses which made you look extra hot tonight was about forgetting everything Barnes said and forgetting how someone so mean could be hot. So with the plan being getting drunk enough to forget the two of you set out after having some pre drinks. The bar was crowded but you were able to get drinks and hot guys kept hitting on you and Nat all night, at one moment you were with a guy named Max while Nat was with some guy named Elliott who knows were you only found her when you went over to the bar Max tailing behind you. “Nat!” You shouted so she could hear you.

“Hey Y/N, sorry I left you but you two looked like you were having fun.” She said sending you two a wink.

“We were we’re just here for drinks.” You replied.

“Me too except Elliott’s ordering over there.” She said pointing down the bar all your eyes went in that direction and that when you and Nat both noticed the same thing.

“Oh my god.” You both said in unison at the sight of Professor Barnes, Rogers and Willson on the other side of the bar near where Elliott was standing.

“I’m just a bartender, but thank what would you girls like.” The bartender said who obviously came up to you when the two of you expressed your shock at seeing your professors at the bar. You didn’t know what you were personally more shocked about, them being at the same bar as you or how Barnes was wearing black jeans and t-shirt that were tight in all the right places and a red leather jacket. But luckily the bartender made you look away before anyone noticed you checking out your professor.

“We’d like two beers please.” You said to the bartender.

“I’ll pay babe.” Max said into your ear before kissing you in the cheek and taking out his wallet.

You were completely unaware of the situation on the other side of the bar.

“After this beer I’m going home.” Bucky said to Steve and Sam.

“Oh come on man.” Steve said disapprovingly.

“He really is a grumpy old man.” Sam added.

“Steve it’s been a tough day let me just go home.” Bucky said to his best friend hoping he’d understand.

“You know what? No, I get it, today is the worst day of the year Dot dumped your sorry ass boohoo we’ve all been dumped-” Sam said with annoyance however Steve stopped him.

“Stop. Okay yeah Dot dumped you last night, you’re allowed to be sad but you need to get over this in a way that isn’t drinking by yourself at home and making your students cry.” Steve confronted Bucky.

“Wait what?” Bucky replied I’m confusion.

“Y/N L/N. I found her in the corridor crying over some essay that you told her was terrible and you told her she should quit the course.” Steve said making Bucky feel guilty.

“Shit. Sorry. But shit, I know I said that I said worse actually, I just started and couldn’t stop I was do fucking rude I was just venting my anger, and I couldn’t stop myself I never thought I made her cry, fuck.” Bucky said realising how badly he messed up being too concerned with his own feelings to care how he was treating others. “She’s such a good student, she didn’t deserve that, she’s my best student I can’t loose her, I need to apologise.”

“Sound a little needy there Barnes.” Sam said.

“Well it seems like the universe is on your side look over there.” Steve said pointing in your direction where you were standing with Nat and Max picking up some drinks from the bar. After you got your drinks you and Max decided to stay at the bar drinking and Natasha and Elliot stayed with you for one drink until Nat asked “hey would it be okay if I left you and Mac Elliott wants to take me home.” She whispered making sure you were okay with her leaving and you were so she left, you and Max had a lot more drinks until you were sure you wouldn’t remember tonight. “Hey wanna get out of here?” Max asked you as you finished your fifth vodka cranberry if the night. “With you always.” You said giving giving him a wink which made him chuckle you were unaware of Barnes judging from the other side of the bar. You left with Max however half way through the cab ride you decided you didn’t want to go through with this so you asked the cab driver to stop the cab and you got out to Max’s disappointment, he tried to ask for your number but you simply said “no” and began walking. You didn’t know were you we’re walking but you just walked and somehow ended up stumbling back into the bar roughly one hour after you previously left. "One whatever’s strong please.“ You said to the bartender as you stumbled up to the bar and sat down putting your head on the bar because you couldn’t seem to hold it up well anymore. "Hey, are you okay?” You heard a familiar voice say, you looked up to see Barnes.

“It’s you.” You said giving him an evil look that was almost comedic but you believed was serious in your drunken state.

“It’s me,” Barnes said with a light chuckle. “I’d like to apologise for today now that I have the chance-” he continued however you cut him off. “Stop.” You said putting your finger up to his lips and saying “shhh.” And he gave you the most confused look you’ve ever seen that man give anyone. “I quit.” Yiu said simply before turning away from him back to the bar and seeing your drink - which was a colourful cocktail- being placed infront of you. “Thank you bartender, can I pay contact-less?” You asked and he nodded giving you the card reader, you put your card on it, it processed the transaction and you giggled saying “I love these things you don’t realise the money you just tap away.” And taking a drink of your cocktail.

“Wait what do you mean you quit?” Barnes asked now sitting down next to you.

“I mean I’m taking your advice and I’m quitting your course because I’m an idiot.” You said using air quotes.

“Y/N you got an A, yes it’s not an A* but it’s an A, you’re not an idiot-”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said I was angry, I was having a bad day and I’m here to apologise.”

“Well you didn’t have to make my day shit too.” You said annoyed.

“I know, I know I am so sorry for that.”

“It’s all your fault, if you didn’t call me a fucking idiot, Rogers wouldn’t of found me crying and told me to get drunk, I would’ve-”

“He said what?” Bucky said trying not to laugh out if surprise what his best friend said.

“He said to get drunk and forget what you said.” You said sipping the drunk through the straw.

“Okay I think you’ve passed your limit give me the drink.” Bucky said realising how drunk you were.

“No.” You said like a child protecting candy.

“Y/N please.” Bucky begged.

“Fine.” You said with a humph and he took the glass out your hand and put it in the bar.

“Come on I’ll hail you a cab so you can get home.” Bucky said standing up, you tried to stand up, you really tried but instead you nearly fell out of your seat into the floor luckily Bucky caught you, taking your arm and putting it around his shoulders and putting his arm around your waist for stability. “Okay, okay don’t worry I got you.” He said gently. He walked you over to Steve and Sam so he could talk to them before taking you to your house. “Hey guys I’m gonna take her home,” he began and the two men gave him weird looks. “To HER house, so she gets home safe because she can barely walk, then I’m gonna head off home, so I’ll see you guys soon. And thanks tonight was better than sitting at home depressed.” Bucky said to the guys before taking you outside to get a cab, which there were none. “I want to go home.” You whined.

“I know believe me, me too.” Bucky said looking around for cabs as you say on the floor leaning against a wall.

“Can I ask why you were so angry all day?” You asked.

“You can ask.” Bucky said as a joke.

“Haha you’re funny…ish.” You said sarcastically.

“You sobering up or are you just always sarcastic?” Bucky retaliated.

“Always.” You said with a wink and he chuckled.

“Okay come on here’s a cab.” He said picking you up bridal style.

“Wow you’re strong for a writer.” You said amazed.

“Used to be in the army, besides you’re light.” He said putting you in the can before getting in the cab himself.

“Hello where to?” The cab driver asked.

“Y/N? What’s your address?” Bucky asked you and you began to think.

“12 Ambers Avenue- No wait that’s my parents house shit, um it’s flat 23, uh, um, I can’t remember, ah, wait Nat told me to save it in my phone.” You said happy before trying to check your phone and realising your phone is dead. “Fuck it’s dead.” You’d said immediately starting to get frustrated and cry.

“Y/N it’s okay, you can sleep in my house if you’re comfortable with that I’ll sleep on the couch, you can charge your phone and then I’ll get you a cab home in the morning.”

“Okay thank you.” You said calming down. During the cab ride you fell asleep so Bucky paid for the cab and carried you bridal style up to his flat, he didn’t know how he felt about this situation, he felt guilty because he got you into this situation however he felt conflicted with the fact that if you were some random girl at the bar he would’ve probably hit on you at the start of the night when you were more sober in the hopes of getting your number, but you were his student and no matter how attractive and smart he found you it didn’t matter, his purpose was to teach you and right now it was to fix the mess he caused by the way he treated you. When he got to his apartment he made the bed for you took out one of his t-shirts and the smaller pair of tracksuit bottoms he owned and out them on the bed for you so you didn’t have to sleep in that dress. He then carried you into the bedroom during which you slightly woke up. “Where am I?” Was the first thing you said.

“Hey you’re in my apartment I got you some clean clothes you can sleep in if you want, if you need anything I’ll be in the living room okay?” He said in a gentle tone that calmed you.

“Thank you.” You said simply in response and he gave you a warm smile before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. When you woke up you needed a moment to remember the events of the night before and even though your memory was slightly fuzzy you could more or less remember the night. You looked around the room that you believed to be Barnes’ but you weren’t sure maybe it was Max’s, it was a nice room, modern however it looked half empty. You noticed on the bed side table there was a glass of water, aspirin and a note you decided to take the aspirin first and the read the handwritten note.

“Y/N, good morning, I don’t know how much of last night you actually remember so loosely this is what happened as far as I was involved: I came over to apologise for my actions during out meeting about your essay, I really am sorry and didn’t think about my actions getting my anger out on you. Anyway you were already pretty drunk, so I said you should stop drinking and that I’ll hail you a cab outside so you cab get home safe however you weren’t able to walk straight - or at all- really so I carried you to the taxi when we were in the taxi you forgot your address and your phone was dead so you couldn’t check your address (your phone is on charge on the other night table). Anyway I ended up giving my address to the cab driver and let you stay the night giving you some clean clothes ect. I slept on the couch, don’t worry. Anyway I’m leaving this note because it’s late already and I need to run a couple of errands I’ll be back soon if I’m not back by the time you leave just shut the door behind you (it’ll lock by itself) there’s food in the fridge and the coffee machine is on the counter, help yourself to anything.

\- Bucky.”

Bucky? You thought to yourself you hadn’t heard that name before you were sure that Barnes’ first name was James, that’s what it said on the syllabus. You decided to get out of bed and you walked into the open plan living room/ kitchen area. You’re timing was perfect as at that exact moment Bucky walked in through the front door back from his errands. “Oh hi.” He said as he walked in.

“Hi.” You said feeling awkward. The situation dawned on you as you saw him. You were standing in your Litreture professor’s clothes, in his living room after getting stupidly drunk, how were you supposed to ever face him in class or right now you weren’t sure.

“Have you eaten anything yet? I bought some bagels back with me, there’s this good place down the road from here called Benny’s Bagels so I thought I’d pick some up.” He rambled trying to make this when situation less awkward.

“I’d love some.” You said with a gentle smile. You sat down at the breakfast bar and Bucky gave you a bagel and also coffee before sitting down opposite you with his the two of you barely spoke eating there in awkward silence. “Thank you, for all of this, if it wasn’t for you I would’ve probably ended up sleeping on the streets in front of the bar.” You said breaking the silence.

“No if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have gotten drunk Steve told me everything and I feel so bad about how I treated you.” He said with a sad look.

“Well Barnes this bagel sure makes up for it I say we’re even.” You said taking another bite.

“Bucky.” He corrected you.

“What?”

“Please call me Bucky when we’re not in a professional setting, Barnes reminds me too much of my days in the military.” Bucky said honestly.

“Right, sorry. You were in the army with Rogers right? I think he mentioned something about it in class.” You said trying to make conversation.

“Yeah, you know he used to be a stick thin asthmatic kid before the army.” Bucky said with a chuckle reminiscing.

“Wait no? But he’s huge!” You protested.

“I know he was so determined to get into the army after I was deported to the Middle East that he trained to the point where he was unrecognisable, I think I’ve got some old photos lying around somewhere.” Bucky said standing up and going over to a shelf in the living room to retrieve a framed photo it was him in his army uniform with Steve who was wearing a shirt and tie that was hanging off of him, it looked like the photos were taken in a photo-booth.

“Wow you weren’t kidding he’s so small.” You said looking at the photo closely.

“Yeah this was taken right before I got deported, I still can’t believe how he got so huge like he was such a small kid.” He said with a sad tone.

“I guess his motivation was to be there on the front line with you, I would want to be there with my best friend I’d be petrified of not knowing if she’s okay.” You said sadly.

“Yeah I mean I was scared leaving Steve if he’ll be okay but it all turned out fine in the end.” Bucky said putting the photo back where he got it.

“So what makes two strong young army guys become teachers, if I may ask?” You asked to keep the conversation going.

“Well I went through something, uh, traumatic I guess, I was a war prisoner, I guess they call it-” he began and you could see it was hurting him.

“If this is too much you don’t need to say it I’m sorry for asking.” You said feeling bad for bringing back these memories.

“No no it’s fine, besides Steve always says it’s best to talk about this stuff then bottle it up. So anyway Steve was part of the rescue team that well saved me, and when we were free my mom d was pretty fucked up after everything I was put through so I got honourable discharge which basically means they sent me home and Steve too because we both went through some stuff. Anyway when we got home I was still fucked up and was depressed, grew my hair out stoped shaving yano didn’t care anymore, my girlfriend was ready to leave me. Steve began doing some talks at universities about his time at war formed some connections and somehow landed a gig as a history professor. He somehow encouraged me to apply to be a lit professor so I did and they hired me. It felt good to have a purpose again and it really helped with my mental health I guess I got my shit together, I don’t know.” Bucky explained   
.

“You seem like you have it all figured out.” You said to make him feel better.

“It’s all an illusion.” He said making you laugh. You ended up talking for another two hours neither of you realising the time passing it felt so natural to just talk the two of you just got along really well together. You only realised how long you were talking when your phone began ringing in the other room it turned out you have a million unanswered messages from Natasha and missed calls you answered feeling guilty. “Hi.”

“Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?” Natasha shouted over the phone.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” You said calmly walking back into the living room with your phone.

“Where are you?” She asked you didn’t really know how to respond.

“I um, I’m, well I’m not sure exactly where I am?” You said truthfully not knowing what to answer and Bucky laughed.

“You’re making it sound like you were kidnapped.” Bucky said.

“Who was that? Was that Max? Did you go home with him?” Natasha asked.

“No it wasn’t Max I actually jumped out the cab when Max tried to take me home, look Nat it’s a long story,” you said not knowing how to explain everything.

“Okay, get home soon okay?” Nat said worried.

“Yeah I’ll be there soon.” You said ending the call. You sighed deeply sitting down in the couch besides Bucky where you previously sat talking from hours. “Okay honest question after I leave this apartment how do we approach this situation? Pretend I never got drunk and you had to take me home and then we talked for hours as if we’re friends even though you’re my teacher? Or do we like just go with it?” You asked nervously.

“I don’t know, I mean there’s nothing wrong with all of this like you’re twenty something right? You can go get drunk? And all I was doing was helping although that could be taken so out of context if it spread round campus.” Bucky said honestly.

“Yeah okay so let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.” You said.

“Wait does that mean like no talking about stuff we talked about today? Do we pretend we don’t like know all that stuff? Because that’ll be hard?” Bucky said kinda awkwardly.

“Yeah, plus I really do want to use the line "yeah but you were and asthmatic twig once” in Rogers at some point.“ You said making Bucky laugh.

"What about we don’t pretend it didn’t happen but only like keep it between us and like close people like Steve and Nat.” Bucky proposed.

“Okay yeah that sounds like a good plan, okay I’m gonna go get changed into my dress, I’ll throw these clothes in the wash basket which is…?”

“In the bathroom.” Bucky finished your sentence.

“in the bathroom. And then I’ll get going because Nat will actually think I’m dead and I need to finish an essay.” You said and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah I should probably finish planning my lessons for next week.” He said with a huff. After you got changed you realised how small the dress was and how it barely covered any of your skin you were already cold and you were still inside you couldn’t believe you actually decided to leave your house in it. “Well this is a lot less comy then tracksuits.” You said walking out and Bucky chuckled at your comment.

“I never pictured you as a person who wears that type of clothes, not that there’s anything wrong with- ah forget it I’m digging myself a hole.” Bucky said getting slightly flustered.

“No, no I get it, I don’t wear this stuff it’s Natasha’s, she forced me to wear it but I think it’s completely impractical, like aren’t clothes meant to keep you warm and cover your skin? This dress does neither!” You said making Bucky laugh once again.

“Wait.” Bucky said walking into his room to fetch something. “Here a piece of clothing that will actually cover your skin and keep you warm.” Bucky said handing you a hoodie.

“Oh, thank you? I’ll get it back to you in Monday.” You said confused as to why he willing gave you his jumper.

“It’s fine give it back whenever I have a million hoodies I can survive without one.” He said making you laugh.

“Okay well thank you, not just for the jumper but for everything like litterealy this was somich better than sleeping in the street, and you’re actually a really awesome person.” You added.

“Wait is that a surprise?” Bucky said confused.

“Well in class you seem a little um.. how do I put this nicely.” You joked.

“Ah my heart.” Bucky said dramatically grabbing his chest and pretending he’s falling.

“Oh shit I killed you I better leave before the cops show up.” You replied after a unattractive laugh.

“You’re just gonna leave me here dead?” Bucky asked.

“Um yep I need to hail a cab in New York City it’s the hard man.” You said with a grin.

“Okay okay fine, I’ll see you on Monday I guess and don’t get overly drunk after Nat leaves you in a bar or you’ll actually be sleeping in the streets.” He said and you smiled.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You said before leaving. It turned out Bucky lived literally a block away from where you lived so you decided to walk home. When you got homes Natasha bombarded you with questions and you told her everything but also begged her to keep is secret so she called Wanda right in-front of you and told her. “There everyone I talk to about you knows now I definitely can’t tell anyone.” She said and you rolled your eyes. You regretted ever telling her anything.


	3. Chapter 3

“So you like her?” Steve asked Bucky as they were sitting in Steve’s office during their lunch break in Monday.

“No I didn’t say that, I mean I do like her in a friend way, but I know you mean more than that it’s just, when we talk I feel like we’ve been friends for years, it feels like we agree in every topic.” Bucky explained.

“I mean she is easy to get along with but you do realise it sounds like you’re falling in love with her and she’s your student so just remember that.” Steve said in a very authority voice.

“Yeah I know, that’s why I bought Y/N up, am I allowed to be friends with her even though she’s my student?” Bucky asked.

“Define friends.” Steve said.

“I don’t know like people who talk about things they are both interested in, hang out together along with other friends ect basically am I allowed to like sit with like you and Y/N in a bar talking even though she’s my student?” Bucky asked.

“I mean that’s a grey area because technically you could’ve known her before she was your student and you wouldn’t just stop being friends with her because she’s your student.” Steve explained.

“So it’s okay?” Bucky asked happily.

“Yeah I guess just to make sure your job is safe if anyone asks you were friends before she started to study here age-wise no one will question it.”

“Okay thanks man.” Bucky said. “Anyway I have a class to teach so I better get going.” Bucky said standing up.

“Oh the one with Y/N?” Steve said suggestively.

“Shut up.” Bucky grumbled before walking out the door.

On the other side of campus you were walking with Natasha to your classes after your usual lunch together. “So you’ve got Barnes now.” Nat said nudging you and winking.

“Oh shut up.” You said to her not being actually annoyed.

“I mean dude you’ve got to at least think he’s hot? He’s like one of the hottest on campus! I do miss his long hair though, I wonder why he cut it.” Nat said.

“Oh it was because he thought it will help improve his relationship with his girlfriend at the time Dot, she said the army changed him too much and that he wasn’t the man she fell in love with so he tried to look like the pre-army him to like show her he’ll try for her but that kind of exploded in his face.” You said casually.

“How do you know that?” Natasha asked confused.

“I told you we talked…” you said confused as to her confusion.

“But that’s like deep, that’s things you only share with someone you’re really close with like he’s the type of guy who doesn’t open up, I mean he’s known for being mysterious and closed off.” Nat pointed out.

“I guess he was just feeling talkative that day.” You shrugged it off.

“And generous seeing that he gave you his hoodie.” Nat said winking.

“Okay I need to go to class and you need to shut up.” You said before the two of you said your goodbyes. Class was pretty boring as usual, you sat making notes during the lecture while Bucky taught the class however when you were walking out Bucky said “Miss L/N may I have a word.” And a million thoughts went through your mind, he sounded angry, the question was why.

“Mhm.” You said before saying bye to one of your friends from class and going over to Buckys desk. “What’s up?” Wow that sounded cocky you thought after saying it you wished you could take that back.

“Hi I just wanted to talk to you are you in a rush?” Bucky asked.

“No I’m this was my last lecture of the day I was just gonna go home.” You said.

“Right okay, well I was wondering, I know this is very last minute but Steve, Sam and I were gonna go to see that movie we were talking about,”

“Right the one that’s about that soldier from world war two.” You replied.

“Yeah that one, well Sam quit on us last minute and now we have a spare ticket wanna come with us?” Bucky asked shocking you.

“Is that allowed?” You asked.

“See I wasn’t sure so I checked with Steve and he says we could’ve been friends since before you were my student so technically yeah there’s no rules against it, so yeah.” Bucky replied positively.

“Oh right well then I’d love to go the trailer was so good for it!” You said.

“I know!” Bucky said sharing the same excitement. “Okay so the movie is at 8 at the downtown theater in Brooklyn if you want I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“It’s okay that’s like litterealy two blocks from where I live.” You said.

“Wait, same, how far did you have to take a taxi on Saturday?” Bucky asked intrigued.

“Yeah I ended up walking home because I realised I live a block away.” You said and Bucky laughed.

“Wow, so technically drunk you nearly found her way home.”

“Nearly.” You said laughing. “Anyway I should get going I’ve got a lot of work to do at home plus you probably have classes to teach soon.” You said.

“Yeah, see you at 8 then.” He said with a warm smile.

“See ya.” You said walking out the room. It only hit you when you got home, what are you getting yourself into. It’s good that Steve will be there because other wise it would look so much worse than it actually was.

Later that day when you were getting ready to leave, meaning actually putting makeup on, throwing on your face hoodie and jeans Natasha began to bug you. “So what are your plans? I see you’re wearing makeup that means you’re actually leaving the house.” She pointed out teasingly as you did your makeup.

“Shut. Up.” You said trying to do your eyeliner.

“So who you meeting? I wasn’t aware you had friends.” She said as a joke.

“I have friends.” You said defensively.

“Mhm like your teacher.” She pointed out.

“Would you please stop.” You said as you went to grab your wallet from your room.

“Okay okay so who you meeting?” Nat asked.

“To meet some friends for fucks same Nat I’ve said it a million times.”

“Yeah but you keep avoiding saying who, wait it’s Barnes isn’t it?” You didn’t answer her. “It is. Is my child gonna bang the hot teacher I’m so proud.” She said all ecstatic.

“I need to leave I’ll be late and just FYI it’s not just me and Barnes, Rogers is coming too.” You said from the doorway and heard Natasha about “Threesome.” As you closed the door. The walk to the cinema was short and when you walked in you immediately spotted Bucky in the corner leaning against a wall and talking with someone on the phone. “No Steve… Okay, okay you have litterealy five minutes so hurry… Oh Y/N is here, Steve hurry.” Bucky said ending the call as you approached him. “Hi.” He said with a bright smile.

“Hi.” You replied returning a smile.

“So Steve lost track of time that’s why he isn’t here yet he said he’ll hopefully get here before the movie starts.” Bucky said rolling his eyes.

“Your friends are extremely unreliable.” You said as a joke.

“Tell me about it.” Bucky replied jokingly. “Anyway I was just about to get in the line for popcorn and stuff join me?” Bucky asked and you nodded.

“So what made Steve loose track of time?” You asked.

“Stark.” Bucky said with a huff.

“You sound like you don’t like him.” You pointed out.

“No it’s not that, he doesn’t like me.” Bucky said with a hint of sadness.

“How come?” You asked curiously.

“I um, I was forced to do some stuff back in, um, war and uh he hates me for something I did and I get it I hate me for it but I’ve tried to apologise I’ve tried to tell him I was under the control of some really bad guys and they made me do it but he wouldn’t listen, but it’s okay he has every right-” Bucky explained you could see him slowly trying to close off from you and his self doubt growing.

“Bucky whatever happened it’s in the past. Look don’t think about it I’m sorry I asked. Just don’t focus on it.” You said placing a hand on his arm and he gave you a short smile.

“Next!” A guy called out and you and Bucky went over to order you offered to pay for your own popcorn and drink but Bucky insisted on paying so you have up and let him. When you sat down in your seats Steve texted Bucky that he has to go back to work to pick up some stuff and that he wasn’t going to be able to make the movie. You and Bucky sat through the adverts talking and being the most annoying people in the cinema, you’d sit there saying “We have to see that, oh that looks shit.” Or commenting on adverts like “what are they even trying to advertise like how does this make me want to buy that car?” Or “I want to but that car look how pretty it is.” When the movie started you stopped being annoying and actually started watching the movie. The movie was great it portrayed war realistically but you were scared how this will affect Bucky seeing that he had to experience things like the events on screen, at one moment when they began talking about some Nazi’s group called Hydra you litterealy saw Bucky tense. Not too long after he leaned over and whispered in your ear “I’ll be back soon.” Before standing up and walking out the screening. Bucky walked straight outside the movie theatre and began to have a panic attack of sorts, he called Steve straight away and luckily Steve answered. “Stevie I can’t.” Was the first thing Bucky said when Steve answered. “Bucky? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” His panicked best friend said.

“I can’t breathe.” Bucky said.

“What happened? Where are you?” Steve was panicking too now you could hear it in his voice.

“The film, it’s so real I felt like I was watching things that happened to us, and then there was Hydra and it was all about how they tried to make the first soldier and that’s when I just fuck I want to jump off a bridge, the people I hurt, what the fuck am I doing? Pretending I can live a normal life I’m a monster, a murderer.” Bucky went on a rant.

“Bucky, Bucky, remember what the therapist said it’s unhealthy to blame yourself it wasn’t you it was Hydra it was the winter soldier.” Steve tried to relax Bucky and relieve him of the pain.

“I am the winter soldier! I have the metal arm! I’ve got the damaged head! I have the body count!” Bucky shouted now pacing infront of the theatre.

“Okay Buck there’s no point talking about this over the phone, walk home I’ll meet you there I’m getting in the car now.” Steve instructed Bucky.

“Steve you don’t have to.” Bucky said feeling guilty.

“Pal I’m with you till the end of the line, you know that, hell you said that.” Steve pointed out. “Now just head straight home okay if anything happens call me.” Steve instructed Bucky.

“Okay.” Bucky said, at that moment he noticed you approaching him. You could see his whole demeanour changed he looked more rugged and broken then before you entered the movie and it was as if his eyes got more dark and held more pain than before. “Hey is everything okay? You’ve been out here a while.” You asked when you got outside.

“Yes. Everything is okay. Steve just needs my help, I can’t really talk about it. I’m sorry.” Bucky replied sounding a lot more monotone and robotic than usual.

“Okay I was scared that the movie upset you because you know the subject.” You said honestly.

“No. It didn’t.” Bucky stated harshly.

“Okay so I’m guessing you’re going to meet Steve now huh?” You said .

“Yes.” Bucky replied.

“All right, I’m gonna go home, wish Steve the best okay I hope that whatever he’s going through it’ll be okay.” You said with a warm smile.

“Okay.” Bucky said avoiding eye contact with you as if he just wanted to leave.

“Okay then. Thanks for inviting me, um, bye I guess.” You said awkwardly.

“Bye.” Bucky said turning around and walking the other way, you began walking towards your house thinking about how weird that interaction was when you heard footsteps behind you, you turned around and saw Bucky. “Wait, let me walk you home it’s dark, I’m sorry.” Bucky said in a voice that was more normal to his usual voice but he was still tense like he was experiencing major anxiety.

“No Bucky you don’t have to Steve needs you.” You said honestly.

“It’s fine I’ll walk you home it’s the right thing to do this is New York, it’s dark, it’s not safe.” Bucky stated.

“Okay thank you.” You said and the two of you walked slowly not saying a word it wasn’t a content silence you wanted to ask a million questions all to do with how Bucky was acting but you remained mostly silent. “I need to quickly go into this shop.” You said as you and Bucky passed a 7/11.

“Great so now I’m running errands.” Bucky said quietly and you took offence.

“Go. I’m not asking for you to walk with me Bucky I’m fine. Thank you for walking with me but currently I think you’re the most likely person on the street to stab me.” You said without thinking. You meant that he was angry with you not that he was a murderer bit he didn’t know that. His face dropped as did yours, he turned around and began walking the other way. “Bucky, I meant you’re angry with me I’m sorry I chose my words poorly.” You said following after him.

“I don’t care.”

“Wait what’s your favourite sweets?” You asked and Bucky stopped dead center and turned around confused.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Just answer the question.” You said.

“M&Ms” Bucky replied.

“Wait here.” You said before running into the shop and hoping Bucky doesn’t leave. You returned handing Bucky a bag. “Here take this it’s for you and Steve. The KitKat’s are for him.” You said.

“How do you know he likes KitKats?” Bucky questioned.

“He once told me that whenever he was sad his mum would but him KitKats that they are a symbol of happiness for him and that whenever he eats one he just somehow feels one hundred percent better.” You simply said shrugging your shoulders. Bucky didn’t reply he just stared at you in amazement you did something like this for someone out of pure generosity, you remembered stories people told you so you could make them feel better you were perfect yet somehow moments earlier he shouted at you even though everything you did was kind hearted. “Anyway I’m sorry for upsetting you so I bought you M&Ms I hope there’s no hard feelings.” You continued.

“Thank you.” Bucky said quietly feeling guilty for how he treated you it was selfish this whole lie about him going to help Steve was selfish just because he was afraid of telling you the truth. He stood there and watched you walk away before walking home. When he got there Steve was al rey waiting for him, they talked and talked. Mostly about Y/N. “Steve I’m scared I’m so attached, nothing good can come of this, not only the fact that I end up hurting everyone I’m also her teacher!” Bucky exclaimed his frustration.

“What do you mean you’re attached?” Steve questioned.

“It’s like I can’t stop thinking about her, on the short time we’ve been close I’ve told her more then most people I know combined, she knows more about me then some of my so called friends, hell she knows some stuff I was afraid to tell Dot, I’m not afraid with Y/N.” Bucky explained.

“You told her about the winter soldier?” Steve questioned in shock.

“No. I don’t talk about him. But I told her about the situation with Stark avoiding what I did as the soldier just saying I did something really bad.” Bucky replied.

“Buck do you maybe think there’s a reason for why you feel so comfortable with Y/N and why when your friendship is getting more serious you’re trying to push her away?” Steve asked the leading question.

“Because we’re good friend that’s it Steve.”

“I feel like you and me both know it’s becoming more than that and that scares you because she’s your student, because you don’t like to let people in anymore like you used to, because of what happened with Dot…” Steve tried to reason with Bucky.

“No I can’t I barely know her, plus she’s my student we’re just friends that’s it.”

“I said the same thing about Peggy.” Steve pointed out and the realisation dawned on Bucky he was catching feelings for you and it was too late to stop them now.


	4. Chapter 4

When you next saw Rogers in your History lecture you made a point to say behind and talk to him, as the whole class was leaving you asked “May I talk to you professor?” And he agreed so when the whole class left you said. “I don’t mean to intrude on your personal life but you helped me the last time I was sad so I just wanted to say if you need someone to talk to I’m here.” You said with a warm smile.

“What? Oh yeah, about that. Thank you for the KitKats I really appreciated them, and I feel like Bucky really appreciated the M&Ms.” Steve said returning a warm smile.

“The M&Ms were kind of an apology to him he got angry at me all of a sudden then I said something that was completely out of line and he got both angry and upset and I was buying you the KitKats and bought him M&Ms.” You explained.

“Don’t take it personally he was having a bad day already and I think he was just worried about me.” Steve said kindly.

“I don’t know, it felt very personal, anyway I’m late to his class again so I should go before he give me hell.” You said before saying bye to Rogers. You tried to quietly sneak into the lecture but everyone looked at you anyway, luckily no one said anything and Barnes kept teaching, his lesson felt very depressing and you could see something was still off with him. After the lecture Bucky didn’t bother to ask why you were late like he usually did even though he always knew the answer so you walked out the class feeling sad? At that moment you realised you were somehow growing dependant on spending time with Barnes even if it was a short conversation. You decided not to think about it because you didn’t want to give the fact that you were maybe catching feelings for your hot professor. So instead you went to meet Nat for lunch and after you decided to go over to Queens to visit your family. Peter was happy extremely happy to see you, since you started University you barely has time to visit him even though you lived right next to each other. You ended up laying on the floor with Peter just talking about everything. “How come you don’t come home as often?” Peter asked honestly.

“I just don’t have time, between work and school all I want to do is sleep but I miss you Peter and May, I also miss Tony because even though he works at the uni I barely ever see him.”

“Yeah he’s been doing loads of stuff at his company so he hasn’t been teaching as often he just gets supplies to cover for him apparently.” Peter informed you.

“Ah that explains it I’m gonna have to visit him and just sit in his office ditching classes.” You said making Peter laugh.

“You can do that?” He asked.

“No but I wish.” You said. Not too long after you had to go home so you said goodbye to Peter and May. May asked if you could swing by the university on your way home and give Tony dinner as even though it was already long after lessons finished he was still busy writing up lesson plans for the supply teacher. You agreed of course and went straight to the university when you got to Stark’s office you knocked and he told you to walk in, he looked stressed but when he noticed you walked in his face lit up. “Y/N!” He said as a greeting.

“I bring food.” You said showing him the Tupperware boxes.

“Aw you’re amazing thank you! Did May send you?” He asked as you handed him the food and sat down on a chair on the other side of Tony’s desk.

“What you don’t think I could do something nice for my… What are you again? Step uncle slash dad slash teacher?”

“You forgot slash genius.” He added with a mouthful of food making you laugh.

“Eh I wouldn’t say genius.” You said and he gave you a look that could kill you before the two of you laughed. “Anyway if you want I can leave Peter said you have loads of work I’d hate to disturb you.” You said preparing to leave.

“No, no stay I could use the company I’ve been slaving away at this computer, I don’t even have FRIDAY here to talk to.” He complained.

“Oh no, how will the billionaire genius survive without his A.I. system thing.” You said sarcastically.

“Funny.” He replied with the same level of sarcasm. “Anyway come look at this.” He said gesturing for you to move round to his side to the desk so you took your chair and sat down next to him. He showed you some new projects he was working on for Stark Industries and you were actually blown away. You were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Come in!” Tony shouted and Bucky walked in you were as shocked to see him -after what he told you about his and Starks relationship- as he was to see you. “Ah Barnes you’re here to see the lesson plan I’m guessing.” Tony said catching Barnes off guard and making him direct his attention from you back to Stark.

“Uhhh.” Barnes started before clearing his throat. “Yes. Yes I am.” He said standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“I’m gonna be off then. Bye Tony.” You said giving him a hug. “I’ll see you whenever you’ve actually got free time.” You said making him laugh. “And bye Professor Barnes.” You added and he gave you a slight nod.

“Yeah, yeah, thanks for dinner.” Tony said just before you left. The whole interaction left Bucky completely confused. So confused that he had to call Steve after he was done in his meeting with Stark.

“You’re close with Stark right?” Bucky asked Steve over the phone.

“Yeah Buck we’ve been friends since I started working with him why?” Steve asked confused.

“What’s his desk with Y/N?” Bucky asked.

“What?”

“Like what’s the relationship between them are they friends? What are they?” Bucky asked.

“Where is this all coming from?” Steve asked still very confused.

“I went to Stark’s office today to get the lesson plan for his lesson that I’m covering, and Y/N was in there and they seemed pretty close and apparently they got dinner together today?” Bucky explained.

“Look pal, I wish I could help you but Tony is pretty private like you. All I know is the things I’ve seen, she’s often in his office talking with him they seem to get along and I once saw Y/N crying Infront of his office and when j asked her about it she told me she was going there to hide from the world but it was locked. So I’m guessing they are pretty close. How close I don’t know.” Steve answered honestly.

“Could they be together as in dating?” Bucky asked feeling a pain in his chest even thinking about this.

“I don’t know Buck, why don’t you ask her you two seem pretty close as well.” Steve said.

“I haven’t talked to her since the cinema incident.” Bucky said feeling guilty.

“Why?” Steve asked.

“I just don’t want to burden her with everything that’s happening in my head so until I get back to being good and happy then I’m avoiding her.” Bucky simply said.

“Oh Bucky.” Steve sighed.

“What?” Bucky asked confused.

“This girl spent hours talking to you when you were all depressed over Dot breaking up with you. I think she can handle broken Bucky she seemed to be doing it pretty well and it was making you get better.” Steve explained.

“This is different.” Bucky argued.

“Maybe, but I know how much you care about her I’d hate to see you loose it all because you decided to ignore her.” Steve explained.

“I’ll think about it.” Bucky said.

“That’s all I ask.” Steve said before the two said their goodbyes leaving Bucky sitting in his living room contemplating what to do.


	5. Chapter 5

You were planning to meet Wanda for breakfast before she had to go to work, so you decided to go get bagels at Benny’s Bagels. Sitting there it reminded you of the day Bucky bought home bagels and you are them together talking and getting to know each other, it made you sad when that was proposed to the contrast of Bucky storming away from you and barely speaking to you, one sentence and you lost his trust probably for good and you hated yourself over it. “What’s on your mind?” Wanda said noticing your off behaviour.

“I don’t know just guy troubles I guess.” You said to her feeling guilty that you stopped updating her on Barnes, your deal after all was that you were only allowed to tell Nat and he was only allowed to tell Steve.

“Wanna talk about it? I’m all ears for like twenty minutes before I need to hurry if to work.” She added making you laugh.

“No it’s fine honestly, Antea how’s Vis?” You asked her and her face lit up. While she was telling you some story about how Vision was attempting to cook (badly) you noticed a familiar person walk in. It was Bucky, he was wearing a baseball cap, shorts and a t-shirt it looked like he’d just been running and he looked good. “Are you even listening?” Wanda said before looking where you were looking. “Oooo he’s hot.” Wanda said.

“Yeah that’s Bucky.” You said watching him pay for a bagel he was such an enthusiastic your eyes were just drawn to him.

“Bucky!” Wanda shouted and you instantly wanted to murder her. Bucky turned around confused and noticed you he smiled at you and did that slight nod people do to say hello and you smiled back with a slight wave. “You’re welcome.” Wanda added.

“I’m gonna kill you.” You whispered to her. Bucky then approached the two of you.

“Hi.” He said with a charming smile.

“Hi.” You replied you were so confused why he’s suddenly talking to you. “Bucky this is my best friend Wanda, Wanda this is Bucky.” You introduced them and they shook hands. Of course Bucky is the type of person to shake someone’s hand you thought to yourself. “So Bucky you wanna sit?” Wanda asked.

“Uh yeah, thanks you guys don’t mind?” Bucky asked awkwardly while sitting down.

“Nah we don’t mind.” Wanda said and you just simply smiled.

“So Bucky how do you know Y/N?” Wanda asked.

“We met in a a bar.” You quickly answered before Bucky said anything about being your Lit professor, the very professor you talked to her on the phone about confessing how hot he is.

“Yeah we met at a bar.” Barnes answered just going with it. The three of you began to just gossip, the conversation mainly led by Wanda who wanted to get to know Bucky, luckily Bucky didn’t mention anything about being a teacher which saved you from Wanda realising who Bucky is. “Wanda, when are you going to work again?” You asked curiously interrupting the conversation.

“Uh, 11:30 I need to leave here why?” She replied.

“It’s 12…” You said.

“Shit. Okay o need to go Bucky it was nice meeting you, Y/N it was terrible meeting you as usual.” Wanda said giving both you and Bucky a hug while Bucky laughed at Wanda’s statement. When she walked out there was a moment of silence where both you and Bucky didn’t know what to say. “I want to apologise."Bucky started after the awkward moment of silence.

"You seem to do that a lot, you have nothing to apologise for.” You replied.

“I do because I acted shitty and selfish and didn’t even truly realise till Steve called me out on it.” Bucky explained.

“Steve really does keep you grounded huh?” You said as a slight joke.

“I guess so, but as I said I want to apologise, I invited you to the cinema, and bailed half way through with no explanation.” Bucky began.

“Well Steve needed your help that’s reason enough.” You cut in.

“No I should’ve said something, then I nearly didn’t walk you home, this is New York what guy doesn’t walk a girl home it’s dangerous, I don’t want to sound misogynistic or sexist but personally I -the guy who went to the army- can protect you more than you can protect yourself and yet I nearly left you alone.” Bucky said sounding annoyed at himself.

“You came back though.” You argued.

“Yeah but I left you again.” Bucky added.

“After I said a terrible thing to you I’m the one who needs to apologise.” You argued again.

“You see at first I felt offence, I felt hurt than I realised unlike most people in my life who known about my past you don’t tiptoe around me acting like I could break at any moment, you’re not afraid to call me out and I admire that, although for a literature student I’d expected a more thought through sentence than saying you feel like I could kill you or however you phrased it.” Bucky said and you laughed at his last statement.

“Maybe I should start tiptoeing around you so you don’t find out that my vocabulary is litterealy swearing and saying ugh.” You said and Bucky laughed. “Anyway so now we cleared the air, we good? Can we go back to being friends and stop the awkward silence?” You asked.

“Yeah I’d like that.” Bucky said admiring how you can just forgive him so quickly, he really didn’t deserve you as a friend, and definitely not as anything more no matter how bad he wished that you two would be more than friends one day. Not too long after the two of you said your goodbyes and both of you went your separate ways you thought the next time you see Bucky would be in class but you were wrong.

You were at Bruce Banners birthday party, you ended up there because Nat has a crush on him and she wanted you to come with her to the party. So you were at a party where you knew one person. But it was fine you began talking to people and getting to know them between shots, it was at Bruce’s house which was rather nice. You spent the beginning of the night flirting with a guy named Loki, he was nice but seemed like an extreme fuck boy but you didn’t mind at least you’d have fun right? About half way through the night Bucky and Steve arrived at the party to your shock. You ignored them and carried on talking to Loki and Clint until you heard someone say “Y/N?” And you turned around to see Steve standing behind you in a nice shirt and jeans and Bucky behind him also in a nice shirt and jeans. “Steve! Bucky! Hi!” You said before the three of you engaged in a conversation how everyone knows Bruce and ended up at the party when Steve and Bucky went to get drinks Loki whispered in your ear “let’s dance.” And you agreed following him to the living room where everyone was dancing including Bruce and Nat. It was fun at first you felt the alcohol going to your head and after the fifth time Loki span you you began to feel dizzy and you were finding it hard to stand but luckily Loki felt that and picked you up while grabbing your ass and carrying on dancing with you. When he finally put you down he began to make out with you while his hands began to feel you up. “Stop.” You said but he wouldn’t listen. “Loki Stop!” You said aggressively.

“Chill, I’m gonna get a drink you’re no fun.” He said before walking away, you felt slightly embarrassed and decided to run and hide upstairs, Bucky who was watching the whole interaction decided to follow you. “Hey you okay?” He said walking in.

“Yeah I just needed some space.” You said honestly.

“If you want I can leave.” Bucky said.

“No stay.” You said and he sat down on the bed next to you, you spent about an hour talking until you decided to return to the party, most of the night you spent walking wherever Bucky went and Bucky went wherever you went, at one moment you all went into a small summerhouse in the back yard and there was one seat left so you ended up sitting in Bucky’s lap while Bucky internally tried to control himself, but you didn’t know that. After you ended up sitting next to Bucky in the garden in the patio along with some girl who’s name you didn’t know but you knew she was drunk you and Bucky chatted casually and she interrupted with “if you guys want to fuck there’s a bush over there.” And both Bucky and you didn’t know how to answer so you decided to ignore the statement. Not too long after the two of you decided to go upstairs again where it was quieter. “Hey look Bruce has snaps!” You said noticing a box.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“You know the things you throw and they make a loud noise and spark.” You explained.

“Oh, let’s throw them out the window.” Bucky said like an excited child. Bucky held your waist while you leaned out the window to throw one down and people’s reaction was hilarious. Then you swapped with Bucky and he leaned out the window while you held his arm, the metal one which you still didn’t have the guts to question all you knew was what he told the class in the first day. “Yes I have a metal arm, no I’m not a robot it’s a prosthetic as I lost my arm a couple years back I’d appreciate you not to ask me questions about the details.” And so you respected that. Bucky caught even more people’s attention after throwing the snaps in the floor. “Wait look that’s Steve.” You said.

“You’ve got to hit it right infront of him and scare him.” Bucky said and you laughed.

“Of course.” You said, taking out your phone to record Steve. "Will you be able to hold me so I don’t fall and I’ll record Steve’s reaction.“ You said with an evil smirk.

"Great idea.” Bucky said with amusement. You leaned out the window, Bucky’s arms holding you from falling and you threw a few snaps on Steve’s direction the shock of them hitting the floor made Steve jump and you and Bucky laugh. You quickly hid back in the room bursting out in laughter as you played the video that showed Steve jump like ten feet up into the air from shock and then look up in confusion.

“Send that to me I want to bully him with that.” Bucky said after he finally stopped laughing.

“Sure what’s your number?” You asked and Bucky sent you the video in that moment the two of you completely forgot that you were a student and teacher you felt more like teenagers than who you really were. The rest of the night was filled with laughter and you and Bucky never leaving each others side at one moment when most people at the party were either passed out, went home or were playing drinking games in the kitchen you and Bucky sat in the living room watching Die Hard, one of Bucky’s arms was around you the other in your hand while you rested your head on his shoulder and he rested his on your head. “You asleep?” Bucky whispered noticing your closed eyes.

“I’m getting there.” You said and Bucky gently laughed. “Are you staying the night here or are you going home?” Bucky questioned.

“I’m going home with Nat.” You said rubbing your eyes.

“Okay if you want Steve and I are also heading back now so we can all go together.” Bucky offered.

“Yeah that sounds good.” You said standing up and feeling dizzy as all the alcohol went to your head, Bucky quickly wrapped his arms around you to stabilise you.

“You good?” Bucky asked and you nodded.

“Yeah its that sensation when you stand up and feel dizzy because of all the alcohol but I’m fine I don’t need you to take care of drunk me… again.” You said and Bucky chuckled. You ended up finding Steve and Nat in the kitchen and the four of you got the subway home, you fell asleep with your head on Bucky’s shoulder and Natasha and Steve exchanged a knowing look when they noticed how close you and Bucky were becoming, your head on his shoulder as you sleep with his jacket around your shoulders that he wrapped around you “for warmth” , his hand resting on your thigh, and just in general how much time you two spent together. When you guys were one stop away Bucky tried to wake you up by gently whispering in your ear that you’re at your stop but you replied with “Just leave me here I want to sleep.” Making all your friends laugh, so instead Bucky effortlessly picked you up bridal style making sure his coat is wrapped around you. “Look he’s already preparing for the wedding day.” Steve said jokingly to Nat but with an aim for Bucky to hear.

“Ha Ha very funny, why do people believe you’re a nice guy.” Bucky said sarcastically.

“Because he’s an American sweetheart.” Nat said and Steve and Bucky laughed.

“American sweetheart my ass, while I was going on dates, attending since conventions, going to the army Steve was committing multiple criminal offences, starting fights and planning how to illegally enlist in the army.” Bucky explained.

“Well you’re not wrong, but it was all in the name of good.” Steve retaliated.

“So he’s a bad boy and you’re a goody two shoes?” Nat asked smirking.

“No, I’m still the dashingly handsome bad boy who girls fall for-” Bucky began.

“More like sleep on Buck.” Steve pointed out.

“Or sleep with.” He said sending a wink Steve’s way.

“Wait since when is Barnes a playboy?” Nat asked confused.

“Since always he’s just great at hiding it when he’s sober but it’s like a pesky uncontrollable thing when he drinks.” Steve said mockingly.

“Well at least I’m the one with a girl in my arms so I’m doing something right.” Bucky said casually.

“But she’s asleep so neither of us are getting lucky so we’re both losers.” Steve pointed out

“Yeah but it’s all about the chase and I think I succeeded at that even if I’m going home solo tonight.” Bucky said nearly tripping over and through that revealing how drunk he really was.

“You’re making it sound like you magically got a girl to fall in love with you in one night and we both know that’s not true you’ve been trying to woo her for a while now.” Steve pointed out and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Guys let’s not forget she’s your student.” Natasha pointed out.

“Fuck.” Bucky said stopping in his tracks.

“Language.” Steve said immediately.

“She’s my student.” Bucky repeated and no one knew what to say, he glanced down to make sure you were still asleep and you were so he carried on. “This beautiful girl who doesn’t judge me like everyone else does, this girl who is smart and funny and perfect, this girl who I’ve fucking fallen in love with is my student, she’s my student Steve.” Bucky said in that moment sobering up completely.

“Bucky it’s okay.” Steve tried to calm Bucky down.

“No it’s not, Romanoff please don’t tell her I said any of that.” Bucky pleaded.

“Bucky look you can’t just go back to not talking to her you tried that it hurt you and it seemed like it hurt her.” Steve tried to reason with Bucky.

“Barnes look I barely know you but I know Y/N, I know she doesn’t shut up about you even though she tries to, I know every time you’re upset she’s upset, I know she cares about you and if you stop talking to her to block her out she will be devastated.” Natasha explained.

“What about Stark? I saw her all cozy in his office, she bought him dinner how do I compete with a billionaire?” Bucky said annoyed.

“Compete? Stark is basically her family that’s why she spends so much time with him he’s the closest thing she has to a dad, she was probably bringing him food from her aunt’s house because he was working late. Plus she’d never go there he’s way too old for her. Now can we please keep walking?” Natasha explained and they all began walking.

“It’ll be okay Bucky, look how much fun you had tonight when you forgot she was your student, don’t loose that over your worrying.” Steve said caringly and Bucky nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

You- Hi, Nat told me that you carried me home all the way from the subway when I fell asleep and I’d just like to say thanks! :)

You texted Bucky in the morning right after Natasha filled you in on what happened after you fell asleep, however she did miss out Bucky’s freak out over you being his student and him drunkenly admitting he had feelings for you. You weren’t sure if it was the right thing to text him, yes he gave you his number but that didn’t mean you could just text him any time, it may have been just for you to send that video.

Bucky- Hi, it wasn’t a problem, I’m getting used to carrying drunk you home now ;)

You- Ha Ha 🙄 very funny

Bucky- How’s the hangover?

You and Bucky ended up texting for a while before you had to go to work. You went from talking about the party to talking about random stuff, you honestly didn’t understand how you could talk to Bucky so much it got so bad that Natasha was noticing. “Who you texting?” She’d ask and you’d just lie but she knew it was Barnes she knew, but she didn’t tell you. On Monday you were ill, so I’ll that you decided you’re staying home, or more like Nat told our to stay home. So you emailed all your professors for the day saying you won’t be in due to sickness and straight away Bucky texted you.

Bucky- so I’m guessing you’re hungover?

You- Nope I’m actually ill, I know a shocker for a student

Bucky- Get well soon!

You- Thank you, now you should probably get back to work or whatever 😂

Bucky- Pop quiz, I get to sit and do nothing

You- I’m so glad I’m ill

Bucky- 😂

You decided to go back to sleep as you were feeling light headed and tired, when you woke up you finally took a shower for the first time that day, put on some short shorts and an old hoodie, then wrapped yourself in a blanket relocating yourself on to the couch and began watching your favourite TV show. You were surprised to hear a knock on your door so you stood up with the blanket still wrapped around you and you plopped over toward the door you checked who it was and you saw someone turn around and walk away, you recognised him instantly so you opened the door and said “Bucky?” With a hint of confusion.

“Oh good I thought I went to the wrong flat.” He said in relief turning around to face you. “Hi.” He said with a smirk probably caused by your state of confusion and your outfit that consisted of the puffy blanket.

“Hi, do you wanna come in?” You said still confused, standing to the side to let him in and he walked in. “Not to sound weird or anything but how do you know where I live?” You said in your state of confusion.

“The night after Bruce’s party I carried you home, Natasha lead the way.” He simply explained while taking his back pack off.

“Ah right.” You said remembering the day.

“Anyway I’m not here to take up your time I just thought you’d probably want some stuff since your ill.” He began opening his backpack. “So I got you tissues, chocolate I hope you like it, tea, you said you liked, cold medicine and I went to the bistro not too far from here and got you some soup.” Bucky said and your jaw litterealy dropped, this was the man of your dreams at that moment you knew.

“Wow Bucky, if this is something you do when your friends are ill I’m gonna be ill more often, thank you so much.” You said in amazement.

“It’s honestly not a problem, oh and I bought over some work you missed from my and Steve’s class so bring that in whenever your back.” He said in more of his “teacher” voice.

“I take that back how dare you, I bet this was all a test of you checking if I’m actually ill.” You said jokingly plopping down on the couch with a fake angry face and Bucky laughed.

“I bought you soup! Doesn’t that like equal out with the fact that I’m making you do work?” He tried to negotiate.

“It’s not fair I’m ill I don’t want to be writing essays I’m so gonna email you telling you I’ve lost this.” You said turning Netflix back on.

“I’m glad to know you value your education.” Bucky said sarcastically and you laughed. “Anyway I’ve got a meeting to head to so I’ve got to go, enjoy the soup… and homework.” Bucky said with a slight smirk.

“Thanks professor.” You said rolling your eyes and saying it as if Professor was the most vile word to ever exist making Bucky laugh. “No in all seriousness thank you so much for this, mostly for the food, I’d hug you but I’m ill.” You said standing up and walking him to the door.

“As I said it’s not a problem, get well soon.” He said with a smile.

“Thanks, bye.”

“Bye.” He said walking out the door and you shut it trying to comprehend what just happened. You didn’t know how to feel, Bucky was perfect, if he wasn’t your teacher you would be non stop flirting with him in hopes of him liking you but he was your teacher, he reminded you of it constantly. You did end up finishing his assignment or “homework” li he called it. At the end of the next lecture you had with him you wakes up the the front of the class where he was packing up to give him the assignment. “Hey you feeling better?” He asked noticing it was you.

“Yeah, just a bit sleep deprived because I was finishing this.” You said putting the assignment down on his desk.

“Wow, I honestly didn’t think you’d ever do it.” Bucky said honestly.

“Yeah I wanted to prove you wrong that’s why I did it.” You said with a smirk and he laughed.

“What did Steve say when you have him the assignment or did you not?” Bucky asked.

“He was basically as shocked as you are.” You said and Bucky laughed.

“I knew you’d do it.” Bucky said confidentiality.

“No you didn’t.” You retaliated.

“Yeah, yeah I did.” Bucky said with a smile and you rolled your eyes. “Anyway I’m heading to go grab a coffee and since you didn’t sleep because of this assessment care to join me?”

“Yeah that would be great actually, I tried to get coffee at home this morning but couldn’t.” You said with annoyance as the two of you walked out the lecture hall in order to leave campus and go to a nearby coffee shop.

“Woke up too late?” Bucky questioned.

“No Wanda,”

“The one I met in the bagel place?” Bucky questioned.

“Yeah her!” You said happy for some reason that he remembered. “She and her boyfriend are remodeling their apartment so she’s staying with me and Nat and it’s SO crowded.” You said your voice sounding exhausted.

“I can imagine.” Bucky said with sympathy.

“The worst part is Vision, Wanda’s boyfriend, insists to cook, but it’s like he has no taste buds so it’s usually bad and we just all eat it pretending that it’s good, I miss food with taste.” You said with a hint of saddens.

“I mean if you miss food so much you can always come over to mine for dinner.” Bucky offered.

“No that’s a lot of hassle.” You said not knowing if he was being genuine or just trying to be nice.

“It’s really not, since Dot I live alone it would be nice to have some company once in a while. I mean Steve and his fiancé visit often but it’s just I don’t know.”

“It feels like they pay more attention to each other than you so you still feel alone?” You asked.

“You nailed that, yeah.”

“Yeah I live with Wanda and Vision now, and I feel like I’m just a ghost in my own house watching them live their life.”

“Wow this is way to deep before coffee.”. Bucky said as you walked into the coffee shop and you laughed. “But honestly the offer still stands.

"I may actually take you up on that, do you want me to buy anything? What food we making?”

“I didn’t think that far ahead.” Bucky honestly said and you laughed. The whole time you were in the line you were planning what to eat, when you ordered coffee Bucky paid for it and you felt warm inside and happy that he’s so kind to you. The two of you found a table and finally decided you’ll make spaghetti bolognese for dinner. “Okay so what do you want me to buy and bring with me?” You asked and Bucky pulled a face like he’s thinking. “Nothing I think I have everything, maybe something to drink.”

“I think I have wine at home, do you like wine?” You asked.

“I love wine but don’t tell Steve because I used to call it a girly drink but then I tried it, now it’s my guilty pleasure.” Bucky explained and you laughed.

“Okay I’ll bring wine.” You said with a smile.

You arrived at Bucky’s that evening around eight, and he opened the door in just jeans, with wet hair and a towel draped around his neck. “Hi, sorry I lost track of time and just got out the shower.” He said as he opened the door and it took everything in you not to check him out. “Ooo wine.” He said with a smile.

“Hi, yes I bought the wine as promised you said handing him the bottle.

"Please come in, I’m just gonna go quickly, actually chuck some clothes on.” He said walking out the room in his mind being shocked that you bit your lip upon seeing him - even though you personally didn’t realise- he knew he was attractive as in he had the “good” body at least that’s what society thought but he never thought you were in any way attracted to him. Although if he was being honest with himself he did purposely open the door top less in order to see how you’d react. When he came back into the room you were in the couch looking at your phone and making weird faces at it. “What you doing?” Bucky asked walking in.

“Telling Nat I won’t be there for dinner and she needs to suffer alone.” You simply replied.

“And you’re telling her this be making weird faces into your phone?” Bucky questioned.

“No I’m using Snapchat.” You explained.

“The all for nudes?” Bucky was extremely confused.

“No okay sit down old man.” You said and he sat down next to you. “Look these are filters, the dog one is everyone’s favourite.” You explained clicking on the classic filter. “If you open your mouth see a tongue comes out.” You said and Bucky opened his mouth and laughed unbeknownst to him you were recording and you kept recording for another few seconds while the two of you messed around with the filter. “Okay so now I recorded that, I can save it, post it to my story or send it to a friend or all three.” You explained pointing at all the features, and also saving the video.

“But why would someone want a video of us playing with a filter?” Bucky asked honestly.

“I mean no you don’t send stuff like that okay look I have a photo message from Nat because it’s red and I got a video from my little brother because it’s purple. So that’s the two things you can send.” You explained and Bucky nodded his head. “So Nat sent this.” You said clicking on the snap and opening a selfie where she’s rolling her eyes with the caption “vision thinks he can make tacos it’s going to taste like shit again”

“So now I’d reply, so I take a selfie.” You say taking a selfie with Bucky, and saving it just out of reflex. “Then I’m gonna add ‘sucks to be you’ as the caption, and send it.” You said doing what you were saying.

“Right so it’s texting plus selfies.” Bucky said.

“Yeah or Peter my little brother likes to send videos because he’s too lazy to type.” You said clicking on a video of Peter, he was walking through the kitchen to the living room talking to his phone. “May is making dinner so if you want to escape Vision come over.” He said with a smile. “Oh also.” He added excitedly stopping and his eyes going wide. “Look at my new t-shirt it’s a maths equation that says find X and X is circled and it says found it, get it? I love it so much.” He said with a smile showing off his t-shirt to you and both you and Bucky laughed at Peter. You began to record a response straight away. “You’re such a nerd!” You said zooming in on your face and zooming out and Bucky laughed. “But also that'sAReallyCoolTshirtAndI'mTottalyJealous.” You said really quickly and under your breath and Bucky skilled as if he was trying not to laugh. “Anyway thanks for the food invite but I got this guy to cook for me.” You said with a smile pointing the phone more onto Bucky and his eyes widened in a 'Really?’ type of way as he said “that’s what she thinks, but actually she’s cooking.” He said you scrunched your face up and replied. “Mean. See what I have to deal with Peter.” And you shook your head before ending the video and sending it straight to Peter.

“Okay I get it, it’s a fun way to talk.” Bucky confessed.

“Exactly.” You said.

“Anyway hungry?” Bucky asked standing up.

“Always.” You said and he laughed pulling you up from the couch.

“Okay time to make some food I guess, I’ll get the pasta and stuff out can you pour us some wine or whatever you want to drink, glasses are in the cupboard above the sink anything you want to drink is in the fridge.” Bucky explained pointing to everything.

“Okay, you want wine I’m guessing.” You confirmed and he nodded. The two of you ended up cooking in together harmony but also messing around. You were in charge of the sauce and he got the veg for the sauce ready and started to cook the pasta. Bucky turned on the radio in the background so you two had something to listen to although the two of you spent most of the time cooking talking, with moments where you two would sing along to songs or dance along. “Okay I think the sauce is ready.” You said tasting it, the pasta was already done so Bucky was just sitting on the island counter behind you. You turned around with a bit of the sauce in the wooden spoon and bought it up to Bucky’s lips. “Try it and see if you like it.” You said and he did, his eyes going wide. “That is amazing!” He said and you smiled turning off the cooker. “Okay dinner is ready then.” You said and Bucky jumped off the countertop. The two of you ate dinner with some light conversation it was really nice and you honestly forgot this was your teacher, it felt more like a date. “Do you want help with washing up?” You asked after dinner.

“I made you cook I’m not gonna make you clean too what kind of a monster do you think I am.” Bucky said and you laughed.

“Technically we both cooked.” You pointed out.

“I put water, salt and rice in a pot and let it heat up. That’s all I cooked.” Bucky said and you agreed with him.

“Okay fair point.” You said. “Anyway I should probably slowly get going because I have an early shift at work tomorrow.” You said with a hint of sadness you were really enjoying your evening.

“Okay I’ll walk you to the door.” Bucky said after putting the dishes in the sink. “Thank you for coming over it was nice to have someone around here again yano.” He said opening the door and not making much eye contact.

“Honestly my pleasure it was nice to have a peaceful and tasty meal unlike anything that I’d ever get at home with Vision and Wanda around.” You said and Bucky laughed.

“It tasted good because you cooked it.” Bucky said and you shrugged. “Anyway have a good day at work tomorrow and thanks for coming once again.” Bucky said as you stood in the doorway.

“Thank you for inviting me.” You said as the two of you hugged goodbye. “Bye.” Oh said in the hug before something unexpected happened as you pulled out from the hug Bucky leaned in and kissed you before immediately pulling away.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry.” Bucky said in fear and shock and you didn’t reply. “Old réflex from back when I was with Dot, I’m sorry bye.” Bucky said closing the door as you still stood there shocked. He shut the door in your face and you just stood there for another few seconds trying to comprehend what happened. Professor Bucky Barnes just leaned in kissed you on the lips softly and immediately pulled away in embarrassment. It was a reflex he said that, it didn’t mean anything you knew that but it didn’t stop you from wishing that the kiss lasted a bit longer so you could kiss back so you could feel his chapped lips for longer however you knew how extremely wrong that was. When you gathered your thoughts from the shock you began to walk out the apartment building but you still heard a final “FUCK! FUUUUUCK!” Come out of Bucky apartment before hearing a crash. You decided to keep walking knowing that going back and asking if he was okay would just cause more awkwardness. You dreaded going back to class.


	7. Chapter 7

You were dreading going to class and seeing Bucky, you didn’t know what you should do, you knew you can’t not turn up to class because that would send a strong message of you not wanting to see him but you also knew you didn’t want to see him because you were confused and you hated the fact that you were longing to kiss him again. You approached his classroom with dread however we’re surprised to see the whole class outside the room in the corridor. “What’s going on?” You asked one of your friends from class.

“Doors locked, no one knows where Barnes is.” He replied and you nodded a thanks. Minutes later everyone received an email.

“Class cancelled. Couldn’t find a parking spot. - J.Barnes”

“Class cancelled!” Some kid shouted and the crowd dispersed. You decided to go to Tony’s office because you weren’t in the mood to take a subway all the way home.

“Hey kiddo.” Tony said when you knocked on the door and walked in.

“Hey, you busy?” You asked.

“Always but never when you come in.” He said with a wink and you laughed.

“I wanted to talk about May’s birthday.” You said.

“Aren’t you meant to be in class?” Tony asked as you sat down opposite him.

“Barnes cancelled.” Out simply replied.

“Oh yeah apparently he’s off sick all week.” Tony replied, sick? So he lied in the email saying he couldn’t find a parking spot, so this means all your classes with him are cancelled.

“Yeah, anyway Peter and I have a proposition.” You said and Tony leaned in.

“I’m listening.” He replied.

“You know how May has always wanted to spend a night in one of those hotels where the rooms are huts in the water.” You said.

“She never told me that…” Tony said.

“She probs knew you’d pay and take her that’s why she never told you, anyway they are really expensive but Peter and I have been saving up for literally years and we have enough for a room for you and May for a week in AVANI Sepang Goldcoast Resort but we forgot about the flight so we were wondering if you could help us out pay for te flights and we’ll pay you back when we have the money because we need to book this now and don’t have enough.” You explained.

“Kid I can pay for the room too.” Tony said.

“No, we don’t want you to pay we just want a small loan if you get me? We’ll pay you back.” You explained.

“Okay, how about we do this I’ll book the rooms and flights and you’ll pay me back?” Tony asked and you nodded.

“That would be amazing yes please.” You said.

“Okay so when am I booking this.” Tony asked.

“I was thinking flight out in May’s Birthday and then a week in Malaysia?” You said and Tony nodded clicking some stuff on his computer.

“Okay, aaaaand booked. You and Peter are coming too.” Tony informed you.

“No we don’t have enough to pay for so many flights.” You protested.

“Yeah but I do and you deserve to enjoy yourself after collecting all that money, May would want you there.” Tony explained.

“It’s meant to be like a romantic get away for the two of you.” You continued to protest.

“That’s why you and Peter have your own rooms and so you won’t bug me I bought extra tickets so both of you can have a +1. And if it’s a romantic get away you should bring a boyfriend and Pete can bring that nerdy friend he builds ships with or his new girlfriend.” Tony said.

“How do you know about her?” You said confused.

“I know everything.” Tony said and you thought not everything you don’t know Bucky kissed me but you were never going to tell him that.

“Get ready to spend a week with Natasha.” You said.

“You know what leave, and don’t come back. If you bring Natasha you’re not allowed on the plane.” Tony said and you made a fake offended face. “You have 2 months find someone and I don’t want to kick you out but I think I’m late to teach a class, I’m not really sure.” Tony said and you laughed before hugging him, thanking him and saying goodbye.

Bucky didn’t show up to class for the whole week. On Friday you got annoyed, this was childish, yes he made a mistake but does that mean you can’t be friends, does that mean he can’t teach you, you were gonna fail just because that idiot kissed you. You didn’t know what annoyed you more the fact that he regretted kissing you so much that it hurt and made you feel terrible or the fact that he was acting so childish. You decided to go to Steve so you knocked on the door and heard a “come in.” So you opened the door to see Steve sitting at his desk grading some papers. “Miss L/N, how can I help you?” He said formerly and you shit the ford before speaking.

“He’s not ill is he?” You asked your voice angry but weak.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said.

“Cut the bull shit Rogers you’re mean to be the honest one, he’s the lying one.” You said annoyed.

“Language, Okay fine yes he isn’t ill but he might as well be he hasn’t left his flat all week I don’t know what’s wrong.” Steve said.

“He hasn’t told you?” You asked your mood changing why wouldn’t Bucky tell Steve, his best friend.

“No. All I know is it’s something big because Bucky is pretending nothings wrong but something is up.” Steve said you could see he’s being honest that he’s worried. “How did you know he wasn’t ill?” Steve asked and you didn’t know what to say, because he kissed me and then went missing so I know he’s avoiding me is what you wanted to say but knew you couldn’t.

“Because he sent an email saying class is cancelled because he couldn’t find a parking spot and then Tony said that actually he’s ill so I knew he’s lying to someone.” You explained. “So what’s wrong with him?” You asked sitting down.

“I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me stuff.” Steve said.

“But you’re his best friend I thought he tells you everything.” You said confused.

“You’d think.” Steve said with a slight laugh that he used to mask the pain. “Look Bucky avoids telling me things he believes will hurt me or upset me, he tries to deal with problems alone.” Steve explained and you felt bad for Bucky and Steve noticed the look on your face as it’s the way he felt and he continued. “Look I know Bucky has told you a lot he’s been really open with you which is rare for him but how much did he actually tell you?” Steve asked.

“Just bits and pieces, he told me he had a bad experience in the army, he was captured and he was made to do terrible things, something to do with Tony that’s why Tony isn’t too fond of him um, he told me about his PTSD, his depression, he told me about you saving him that’s about it.” You explained.

“Wow So he actually told you most of it. Okay I’m gonna explain to you something about Bucky, which you’ve probably noticed with the times he’s had outbursts on you, now this is between me and you because I just want to explain Bucky a bit to you because I know he tried to push away people he’s don’t it with me too and I just want you to know he thinks he’s doing the right thing.” Steve explained, it sounded odd why was Steve now talking about Bucky pushing you away? Did Steve actually know about the kiss? He did. You were sure of it.

“So Bucky is bad at dealing with emotions but good at hiding them, after he was captured by Hydra and then rescued from te Hydra Facilities to me he smiled but when I looked away he’d stop fake smiling. For a long time I didn’t realise but it was one of the signs he wasn’t okay but he hid it well. When we were celebrating the rescue everyone was together but Bucky, he decided to sit apart from everyone tossing back whiskey and probably trying to forget what happened when he was captured. I know they did terrible things to him he’s never told me that but when I first saw him at that facility he was repeating his name, rank and serial number the therapist told me it was a sign he was tortured, I was an idiot for asking him to go on another mission with me. But he followed me like the amazing friend and soldier he is, and because of me got re-captured by Hydra after nearly falling to his death out of a train, they tortured him broke him. And yet he still pretends like none of that happened, when Bucky was rescued and went through the therapy to be Bucky again he tried to push me away, he was scared he’d hurt me, he pushed Dot away too. He has trouble letting people in and let me tell you that after Dot broke up with him I thought he’d close off again completely but he didn’t he actually opened up, but now he’s trying to push you away because he’s scared he’s gonna hurt you. His PTSD is getting worse which probably means he thinks he’s the winter soldier and not Bucky and he’s scared that he will hurt you. He cares about you and if you care about him you will try and reach out to him even when he shuts the world out.” Steve said his eyes pleading you to save his friend.

“Thank you, this must’ve been hard for you to tell me…. you know what happened the other day don’t you?” You asked cautiously.

“I live across the hall, he didn’t even have to tell me I heard the swearing.” Steve said.


End file.
